I have nightmares where I'm running from something
And I'll wake up just as it's about to grab onto my sleeve
Or a knife is falling towards me, or all that I can I see
Are gruesome gaping jaws lined tight with sharp and hungry teeth

And I'll wake up in a coldsweat, oh I'll wake up with a scream
In a room that's dark and calm and I will know it's just a dream
But my heart's still beating faster and my feet are still twitching
And it seems like all day long I am still running in my sleep

Maybe that is part of why I always run away
It's like I get scared for my life when I think "maybe I should stay"
It's not that I can never tell reality from fiction
It's just sometimes they feel the same I don't know how else to explain

I'm still sleeping when I wake up from a vivid dream
And sometimes the past and future feel like they're one in the same

Lately I've had better dreams, the kind of ones that seem
To remind me of my life, like I'll be waiting on a train
Or I'll ride one through the mountains, just you our friends and me
And sometimes my brother's there and I always feel so free

But I still wake with the feeling that I'm waiting or I'm riding
And it gets a little sad if I feel stuck in carolina
Or tennessee or florida, or in one of my poems
Some days I feel stuck and other days I feel at home

I feel like my life lately's been one long, drawn out transition
Like my brain's on a crew change or interlude of mass proportions
And it hasn't been so scary, no, it never gets so bad
It just mostly gets confusing when you're used to moving fast

You spin so many compasses, you spin so many bottles
When you get to sitting still, you feel you're spinning something awful

I feel like I am living my entire life at once
And I hope that it's the case that I'm not the only one
But I think time passes substantially differently for me
Like I'm lost in its dilations or a sea of memories

The waves crash in my head and I'll ride them with my friends
TIl I snap back to reality and wonder where they went

And when I love, I love just like I drink or like I smoke
Way too much and way too many, and unapologetically
Compulsively and loudly, and with everything I've got
And sometimes I wanna quit, but I just can't seem to stop

Whether it's a nightmare or the sweetest lucid dream
I'm all in, take all my chips, fuck it, I'll bet everything
I'll come out ahead if I lose or if I win
Let the dealer take it all, I'll come and try my luck again

It's such a strange sensation to feel like you're somewhere else
When your nose and ears and brain and eyes
Are all telling you otherwise

Guess my heart's got habits of ignoring all of them
Yeah, I am where it is, I might be crazy but that's it

I'm still back in san francisco, I'm still sleeping in your bed
And everyone I've ever loved is still asleep inside my head
I'm still out by the highway, collecting bleach-white bones
And I've never felt more homeless in this home that's not my own