1. |
Year of Rust
03:20
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I was a rumbling terror machine
Screeching and scraping the gravel as I flew
Past broken buildings with jagged wings burning
See the steel frame through the flames and the smoke
Hear the exhaust through the screaming of metal on stone
These days I rise before sunrise and drive
The engine, it rattles like my bones
Like it knows what I mean, like it dreams what I dream, like it's wise
An ancient machine that can empathize
I'd like to forgive you, but I'm just so stuck
People have muttered a "fuck you" for once and for all at my face
For a less painful taste that I left in their mouths
With a burning rubber smell as I passed by
I was a pack of wild mutts in the desert
Birthed of the valley and cradled by mountains
Searching for something in hot dirt and sand
Padded paws clawing the ruins of man
Fierce and free, side by side with my sisters
These days I live life like a waking dream
A boat or a dog, a turtle a train
Life passed me by like a million soft whispers
Or echoes resounding inside of my brain
I don't know the words, but I sing and I hum along
I'll beg for forgiveness, hell, I'm more like you
Than I thought, I set fire to every inch of the ground that I walk
As I salt the green earth from the holes in my pockets
So nothing ever grows where I have gone
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2. |
Time Dilations
06:21
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I have nightmares where I'm running from something
And I'll wake up just as it's about to grab onto my sleeve
Or a knife is falling towards me, or all that I can I see
Are gruesome gaping jaws lined tight with sharp and hungry teeth
And I'll wake up in a coldsweat, oh I'll wake up with a scream
In a room that's dark and calm and I will know it's just a dream
But my heart's still beating faster and my feet are still twitching
And it seems like all day long I am still running in my sleep
Maybe that is part of why I always run away
It's like I get scared for my life when I think "maybe I should stay"
It's not that I can never tell reality from fiction
It's just sometimes they feel the same I don't know how else to explain
I'm still sleeping when I wake up from a vivid dream
And sometimes the past and future feel like they're one in the same
Lately I've had better dreams, the kind of ones that seem
To remind me of my life, like I'll be waiting on a train
Or I'll ride one through the mountains, just you our friends and me
And sometimes my brother's there and I always feel so free
But I still wake with the feeling that I'm waiting or I'm riding
And it gets a little sad if I feel stuck in carolina
Or tennessee or florida, or in one of my poems
Some days I feel stuck and other days I feel at home
I feel like my life lately's been one long, drawn out transition
Like my brain's on a crew change or interlude of mass proportions
And it hasn't been so scary, no, it never gets so bad
It just mostly gets confusing when you're used to moving fast
You spin so many compasses, you spin so many bottles
When you get to sitting still, you feel you're spinning something awful
I feel like I am living my entire life at once
And I hope that it's the case that I'm not the only one
But I think time passes substantially differently for me
Like I'm lost in its dilations or a sea of memories
The waves crash in my head and I'll ride them with my friends
TIl I snap back to reality and wonder where they went
And when I love, I love just like I drink or like I smoke
Way too much and way too many, and unapologetically
Compulsively and loudly, and with everything I've got
And sometimes I wanna quit, but I just can't seem to stop
Whether it's a nightmare or the sweetest lucid dream
I'm all in, take all my chips, fuck it, I'll bet everything
I'll come out ahead if I lose or if I win
Let the dealer take it all, I'll come and try my luck again
It's such a strange sensation to feel like you're somewhere else
When your nose and ears and brain and eyes
Are all telling you otherwise
Guess my heart's got habits of ignoring all of them
Yeah, I am where it is, I might be crazy but that's it
I'm still back in san francisco, I'm still sleeping in your bed
And everyone I've ever loved is still asleep inside my head
I'm still out by the highway, collecting bleach-white bones
And I've never felt more homeless in this home that's not my own
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3. |
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These days it feels like the toaster's always broken
and the freezer's always empty and the pipes are always frozen
Every day feels like the day that the rent's due
And we live together but I never get to see you
My backpack's patched up but it still sits useless
in the corner of my room with my sleeping bag and boots
I'm forming bad habits with alarming regularity
I could use a crisis if it would change my polarity
I wish this vividity could fuel some creativity
I'd love to write a song that you could sing along with
Intimately and loudly, hyperbolically
like a simile
When we were young we tended to resemble blind tornadoes
Ripped up floorboards and true feelings everywhere that we would go
Our self-destructive tendencies never made us feel better
But it helped us pass the time to wait for clearer weather
Sometimes I find it hard to find the words to tell you what I mean
When I tell you that the stars live in the lining of your skin
I know misquoting poetry's my only real consistency
if you wanna hear my own words we could always run away again
I wish this vividity could fuel some creativity
I'd love to write a song that you could sing along to
Intimately and proudly, hyperbolically
Like a simile
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4. |
Age of Bars
04:33
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It's a crypt no one's keen on keeping
Sister, don't let it drag you down
It's the same as any other town
It's got cars and bars and roofs and trains and rain
I wish it'd flood all the towering buildings
Send the castles all crumbling down
Wreck the gates in front of the mansions
So they'd go out and talk to their neighbors every once and a while
Once in a while, once in a while
It's a shell game rigged for the dealer
Brother, don't let it drag you down
It's the same in every single town
From oily rag to noxious blood-red flag
And if you don't lose like they mean you to
Offer up your wallet, every dime left to your name
The sheriff will be comin after you
Squealing, state-sponsored gang-banger clad in blue
All clad in blue, all clad in blue
So lather that metal up in kerosine
Light the match and sit back and watch the squad car gleam
Every neighbor and sister and lover in cuffs
Is just another reason to burn down the regime
Come on, brother, let the good times roll
Raise your flag and sit back and watch the bulldozers
Crack and crawl through the penitentiary walls
Bring the age of steel bars to a grinding halt
A grinding halt, a screeching stop
A grinding halt, a screeching stop
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5. |
Shortsighted
04:37
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True love is a freight train and we were meant to be
The time that I spend with her is the only time I'm free
I hope you find your true love too to cheer you up when you feel blue
I promise you, I'll try not to be sad if it ain't me
'Cause life's too short to be hangin around
Wasting all your time just feeling helpless, paranoid and upside down
Wondering if that old friend is ever gonna make her way through town
Feeling sentimental about those times you know won't ever circle round
True love is a bottle, but that's just cause I'm weak
I don't hit the bottle, no, the bottle it hits me
I hope you leave your true love too, like I am always meaning to
And laugh and live and love and do just what you wanna do
'Cause life's too short to by tryin' to drown
Trading all your money just for one more night that you can black out
Waking in a cold sweat, flinching hard at every light and sound
I'm tappin' out
I hope all your dreams come true except those nightmares haunting you
I hope your sleep is sweet and deep and shared with pleasant company
Me, I'll keep bouncing around, east-bound, north-bound, west-bound, south
Until they nail my coffin shut and shove me in the ground
I'll move on up to Canada and pick some apples there
I'll move to Colorado where those ancient mountains stand
I'll move on down to New Orleans and start a jazz-punk band
I'll move to California and I'll sleep out in the sand
'Cause life's too short to be hangin' around
Trading all your time just saving up to have a kid or buy a house
I know that there's no paradise, but I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself
I'm tapping out
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6. |
Patchwork
03:18
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7. |
Moment of Panic
04:05
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A dog is rotting in the gutter near the tracks in east LA
The rats all swarm the pavement searching for the source of the decay
To gnaw and claw and scrape and scratch its guts with fervid glee
Strip down to the bone and scurry off into the street
Well it's warm and wet and wrecked in ramshackled new orleans
The gaping hole in the wall matches up so vividly
With the one in my ribcage the fetid muscle keeping pace
With the whiskey it intakes and pumps to my extremities
So here's to all the gruesome times, here's to the dismay
Cheers to grotesque growling things that snarl in the dark night
The world's a terrifying place, so clutch your loved ones tight
Keep your finger on the trigger and a sharp knife at your side
It's a shivering shaking coldsweat in humid st petersburg
Staring at a strange and sickly face in the mirror
Dark and haunted halls, weak with whiskey and withdrawls
Trembling fits of fear and the nightly night terrors
I'm screaming at your face in a dismal, dreary mountain town
The roaches in the oven all scatter at the sounds
That my tongue contorts to words, I swear this must be hell on earth
I'd never mean the things I say but I spit them anyway
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8. |
You're O.K.
01:00
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Going to the coast I'm gonna hitch on sailboats
I'm gonna jump into the ocean in my glasses and my clothes
You'll still have my full attention 'cause it isn't my intention
To leave you stranded on the mainland feeling bored and high and dry
I don't care where we go, I don't care where we are
As long as you're still with me I'll be glad we got this far
I don't care where we go, I don't care where we are
As long as you're still with me I'll be glad we got this far
I feel like it's about time for me to climb a great big mountain
Get lost in trees and bears and bees so no one else can find me
Please tell me you're excited 'cause you know that you're invited
We'll shave our heads and grow our beards and make a new home here
I don't care where we go, I don't care where we are
As long as you're still with me I'll be glad we got this far
I don't care if we go, I don't care if we stay
As long as you're still by my side I'm glad that we're okay
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9. |
Reckless and Stupid
04:40
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Two seasons spent shivering in thick winter coats
An awful, arid summer spent stuck between coasts
A myriad of nervous breakdowns
A web of country roads
My bones haven't thawed out yet
Burnt-brown skin stretched across a frozen mess
I swear I sweat my heart out of the open, desperate pores
Dotting my skin
Stuck in the mud more than ever this year
A pit of routine mired deep in despair
One can only work so long at something
Antithetical to your soul
And each day takes its toll
I'm a vicious, seedy misanthrope
Seems like every morning I wake up
The scene outside my window is uglier than before
I got a few years left to walk this world
I'm too reckless and stupid to ever grow old
I will rot, and I'll rot early
A consequence of my rash behavior
I'd like to spend those years with you
If I can, I know I'll die much easier
I'm looking forward to leaving sometimes
But not once to leaving you behind
And I'd trade my tongue for a child with you
But I'm afraid she'd grow up reckless and stupid too
And why would I bring another person
Into this awful, fucked up world
A circus of carnivores
Eating one another
One of these days I'll just be
Blood red meat inside of someone else's gnawing jaws
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10. |
The Cost of Living
03:08
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Every year the cost of living's different
The panic and the fear are always free
Half the headlines lie and the rest will make you cry
You pay a quarter for the paper just the same
You can buy a kodak camera off of craigslist
Just about for any price you'd name
Within a year those hallowed memories stagnate to hollow truths
Especially nostalgic forms of blues
But who doesn't have some trouble
Letting go of the past sometimes
My fingers won't let go
I'm gnawing at my arms just to survive
You can keep it all
You can keep it all
I'll just keep on lovin and fightin
And runnin and ridin away
I wish someone would tell me what's successful
About trading in your fleeting grains of sand
Just to struggle to rent space on the streets that you help pave
Til the hour glass runs out and it's the end
You can burn all of the shit in your apartment
Build a bonfire and feed it all your things
Sleep under bridges and in ditches alleyways and on park benches
Sing songs and try to keep out of the rain
And hope that the cops don't show up
And arrest your friends or shoot your dog
The world's all bought and owned
Friend, you aren't alone, just stay alive
They can keep it all
They can keep it all
I'll just keep on lovin and fightin
And runnin and ridin away
Til I am six feet deep or they lock me up and throw the key away
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11. |
The End is Near
03:31
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A gut full of bumwine, lungs full of smoke
A head that's full of craziness and dark black jokes
Praying for a new disease to end mankind
Waiting on the last day that the sun will ever shine
Lips slick with poison, eyes full of fear
A thunderous cacophony ringing in my ears
I hope the shit that they spew from NBC and fox news
Seeps out of the screen and fills the air with deadly fumes
Well, I hope it all ends tomorrow so we can start again
I hope a comet comes and roasts us alive
I hope the dead get mad as me, and they rise onto their feet
And I hope that they are feeling kind of hungry
And I hope, I hope only a few of us survive
A mouth full of anger, spit made of rage
A pipe bomb to blow up every fence and every cage
When I'm walking down the street in any american town
And see the shops and cops and cars and people all milling about
I get sick to my stomach
I get rabid and violent
I get to feeling out of place amid the dollar signs and greed
A desperate, hungry parasite, my host rejecting me
Well, I hope it all ends tomorrow so we can start again
I hope a comet comes and roasts us alive
I hope the dead get mad as me, and they rise onto their feet
And I hope that they are feeling kind of hungry
And I hope, I hope only a few of us survive
An inferno to burn down every capital city
A billowing dust storm to strangle the sky
Praying for a virus or a blight or plague
To wipe the slate clean and bring about the end of days
Fire and brimstone
Poison and napalm
Praying for a tidal wave to rise and crest on high
Drown everything in a blue to match the sky
Well, I hope it all ends tomorrow so we can start again
I hope a comet comes and roasts us alive
I hope the dead get mad as me, and they rise onto their feet
And I hope that they are feeling kind of hungry
And I hope, I hope only a few of us survive
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12. |
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https://deadyetis.bandcamp.com/track/dishes-and-the-depression-that-comes-with-them
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